I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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