Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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