You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
