I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
