just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
thus making me awesome and them whores
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
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