Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
