White coat. Heels.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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