sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
