Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
