I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
