Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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