I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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