summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
