And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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