they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
