we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
birth control should be required to get into college
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize