see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
