try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
