This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
