His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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