I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize