My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
