there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Someone came in the potted fern
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
