haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
