You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
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my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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