let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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