My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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