There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
