I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize