YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
