i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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