I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The adults are the big ones right?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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