and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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