doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
