I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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