I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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