Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
