He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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