If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
