She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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