I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
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What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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