i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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