But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
