Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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