there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You ate ashes out of my bong
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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