What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
