shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
