Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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