i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just found puke in my bra..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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