You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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