Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
