I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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