We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
