I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
