I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just pynch a tree in the face
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
this just has baby written all over it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
