Jerry, you need to find god
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
