plz talk dirty to me
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
