Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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