A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
