I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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