i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
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then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
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I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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