He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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