oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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