so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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