so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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