I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
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