you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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