i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I will be naked everywhere
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
