the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
