i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
