She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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