Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
