please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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